the art of feeding

We had a play date this morning with a beautiful friend and her son. Her and I are a lot a like in our unique ways. One of the things we were talking about was food, the expense of organic the conundrum of having to shop on a budget knowing what we want to feed our families and what is within our means. It made me wonder.....is this something that my daughters will deal with as Mom's (assuming they too will some day be Momma's)?

I prefer to buy and eat organic. If I had an unlimited budget I would likely buy everything we put into our mouths organic. I know how important it is right now to vote with our dollars. I know what goes into growing our food, ethical treatment of animals raised for food and the bi-products of all of these things. It's sad that currently we have to feel guilty feeding our kids anything that's labeled as food. Seriously! In a perfect world if it's sold at a grocery store it should be safe, healthy (to a certain degree) and I shouldn't have to wonder what it's going to do to my or my families bodies after years of eating it. If it's sold as food, it should in fact be food. We pick and choose right now what we're wiling to take a risk on and eat of that which are conventional foods having a handful of things I only buy organic (eggs, chicken, milk & some fruits). Other things I buy conventional that are supposed to be generally safe with little or no chemical pesticides used and some things I skip all together because I can't afford to buy organic but refuse to buy conventional. I try to educate myself on reading labels and knowing exactly what it is in that long ingredient list on some processed foods. Mostly we try to cook whole foods knowing that making it at home from scratch is always the best way to eat but I'm just as guilty as alot of Mom's pulling that blue box of mac n cheese off the shelf and no amount of organic milk or butter will make up for everything else that's in there!

I wonder if by the time my girls are women if enough of us will be fed up with what's happening to our food that we can evoke change.....or if it's going to be another broken mess we will leave for future generations to try and sort out. I hope it's the first.

wishing well...

Royce worked yesterday but got off early so we played outside (beautiful day!) and then after dinner decided to wander around Centennial Lakes Park. It's a great park, really close to the house and has a walking path around a little man made lake with paddle boats, mini golf and plenty of places to stop and swing. The girls loved it! As we were walking we came across a little waterfall and Royce pulled out two quarters and handed each of the girls one and told them to make a wish and toss it in the water. They were both excited to do it. After he asked Rasa what she wished for and she smiled and said, "I wished for a pony!!!". Royce asked Adia what she wished for and she quickly replied, "I wished for MONEY!!"

Friday Fun Day! Hot Sam's!

I did a photo session with an adorable six month old at Hot Sam's in Lakeville a few months ago. It's an AWESOME place and I knew I wanted to go back with the girls! The bonus is that it's only 15 minutes away from our house. The owner is paranoid about little kids being there because there are wild roosters that apparently are aggressive and lots of places for little kids to get hurt. We kept a close eye on them (my parents and I) and we had fun. Rasa kept taking off and chasing after the animals but we all had a good time. Check it out if you're ever down in that area just know that the owner will be watching you like a hawk lol! My parents and I met for breakfast first and stopped at the cupcake boutique before we left. It was a fun day for sure!
I wasn't going to bring my camera but at the last minute I ran in and grabbed it. I'm glad I did even though my kids now HATE a camera anywhere near them :)

Everyday Things

My little Adia....

Adia's been in a mood lately. She's been running around here yelling at me, "DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" I'm not sure what but she says it with such conviction I'm afraid! She's been obsessed with saying people are stupid, something I reserve only for road rage (half joking) but seriously not something we say or are ok with. The other day she said Dr. Manney is STUPID to which I replied, "Dr. Manney is a doctor. Doctor's are smart. He is VERY smart I assure you and by the way, Adia I'm not ok with you calling people stupid."
Adia, "Lucy is stupid!"
Me, "that's not nice, we don't call Lucy stupid. No more calling anyone or anything stupid or you're going to spend time alone in time out"
Adia, "But I NEED to call something stupid!!!"
Then she looks at me out of the corner of her eye and mouths the word stupid but is careful not to actually say it.

Good GOD.

The girls are still in pull ups at night and in the morning they switch back into big girl undies. This morning Adia was protesting and saying she wouldn't wear big girl undies because babies wear diapers. I kept telling her she's a big girl and not a baby and she wears undies, just like every other day.

Sobbing.

I couldn't figure out what the issue was except that from time to time Adia gets worried about getting bigger. She doesn't want to be big, she doesn't want to go to school, she wants to stay a baby. She's told us this time and time again for the past year.

I looked at her red face with tears streaming down and I told her the story about when she was a baby and she started eating food. She could hold her own spoon but she didn't want to. She would ask me to feed her, even though she could do it herself.

She smiled.

Ok I get it. Adia needs to be a baby today. But I'm not giving in on the pull up.
I told her she is still very little. "You're only three Adia. You're just a little tiny child. YOu're a little girl. You're not big". She smiled and replied, "Yes, I'm only a little tiny girl, Momma".
I said, "That's right but you're still going to wear your undies because that's what you do now but you're not big. You're just a little tiny girl."

Truce. Undies on, meltdown over and tears wiped.

I love you tiny Adia. You're not a big girl. You're my baby. You always will be. Always and forever.

The things they say...

As my family is sitting at a quant little cafe on the patio for desert Saturday night Rasa tells Royce she needs to go to the bathroom. I had just brought her to the bathroom so I asked her if she could hold it for a few minutes because we're going to be leaving and going home. She ignored me and got distracted with something else. Five minutes later she stands up on her chair and yells, "Mommy! I have to go to the bathroom! I have to POOP and pee!!" The packed table at the other end full of kidless 20 somethings seemed shocked and amused at the same time.

Last night we put the girls to bed and they were having a hard time settling down. Royce and my bedroom door faces the girls so when we are in bed watching a movie we can look over and see Adia in her bed. She was talking NON-STOP and we were trying to ignore her so she would just go to bed. She was singing, laughing, talking in different voices, jumping on the bed and repeating to me over and over that she couldn't sleep.

I was more amused than frustrated but it was nearly 11 pm so I finally said:
"Adia it's time to sleep! I'm starting to get mad now".

Adia askes, "Is Papa getting mad too?"

Royce replies, "Yes, Adia I'm starting to get mad too".

Adia says, "Well, I'm mad too! I'm getting MAD!"

Then softly and quietly I hear Rasa's voice say, "yep me too"

Royce and I giggle and then hear Adia say, "This is getting ridiculous! It's ridiculous!"

It's friday, friday, friday!!

Nana's back from the cabin and she drove down today to hang with the girls and I. We went over to The Cottage House in South Minneapolis to shop their one weekend a month sale. HEAVEN! Everything I love packed into one big old house and everything's dirt cheap! I could have spent the day there but I picked out a few things (thank you Royce!), my Mom bought me some curtains (thank you Mom!) and we left before the girls did any serious damage to the place. Seriously they were like wild animals running from room to room, out the front door, out the back door, climbing on everything, touching everything.....now that I type this it sounds like typical three year old behavior huh. Still, they are normally perfect in public!

We skipped over to 50th and France and had lunch at Barrio. I love their guac! Fish tacos were just ok but the girls were happy with the guac and quesadilas. In the restaurant they were pouring water on everything, jumping on the booth, climbing under the table etc. Oyi! When my Mom volunteered to take them both to the bathroom I happily let her go and giggled a little after they walked away. Public bathroom trips with those two is sickly disgusting. They climb on the toilet to potty and don't care that they're touching EVERYTHING! They touch the booth walls, the toilet flusher thingy, the sinks etc. I have major ocd when it comes to not touching a dam thing in a public restroom and I cannot handle taking them in there! I walked back to check on my Mom's sanity after they were gone about 15 minutes and when I walked in she was drenching them both in hand sanitizer looking at me with her eyes wide open saying, "they touch EVERYTHING!!". Lol yep, I do know that!

After lunch as we were walking back to the car we stumbled upon the most magical of all places! Sweet Retreat Cupcake Boutique. Positively AMAZING! Adia had a princess vanilla cupcake, Rasa a chocolate vanilla, I had a butterfinger cupcake (peanut butter cake with chocolate frosting rolling in crumbled butterfingers...need I say more) and my Mom got a chocolate espresso cupcake...probably the twins fault for her needing a jolt after the bathroom incident. Best cupcake I've had in my life and you all know I've had a million of them so trust me. Cupcake in St. Paul doesn't even come close to these!

After roasting in the car on the way home (it's HOT today) I disrobed both girls immediately and turned the sprinkler on so they could cool off before nap.

We had a great day and what a beautiful start to the weekend!

be still my heart

Yeseterday I went in to wake Adia up from her nap and couldn't resist getting a few pictures of her sleeping. She looks like an angel. She even sleeps like an angel. Such a gorgeous little girl. When she grows I'm going to look back at this picture and miss this.

The room was dark so I had to hold REALLY still to get a slow shutter shot but I love how the picture looks like it's in a bright room.

au revoir weekend!

Our weekend started Friday night with me dreaming of coffee and donuts at my favorite new spot The Donut Cooperative over in S Minneapolis. Royce humored me Friday night and agreed to check it out as early as we all woke up the next morning! I was so determined to eat donuts that I woke up at 6:30 and woke everyone else up at 7 am to head out the door :) The girls were excited and we had a wonderful sweet breakfast in that funky sweet little cafe tucked inside of one of my favorite neighborhoods in Minneapolis. Royce liked the lemon poppyseed donut the best (it was excellent) and my favorite was the almond joy donut....I need another one soon. The girls sampled several but like usual pretty much just licked the frosting off the top and left everything else. All of us ran around all morning and by Saturday afternoon anxiously awaited one of my bff's arrival for her birthday party (girls were excited about cake, Royce excited to hang with Amy's boyfriend, a pro skater). I brought Rasa with me to pick up the cake and she ran beside me holding the ice cream in the store squealing with every step :) We had a great time. Later a couple of old friends came over to hang out by the fire.

Sunday morning all of us woke up early again, decided to drive until we found a little cafe for coffee and ended up eating at a little diner in Edina. It was actually very good! After, we went to bachman's to pick up some annuals (Royce's gift to me for Mother's Day) to plant in the side planter and we enjoyed the beautiful hot sun all day and all evening long. I had a beautiful Mother's Day. Royce was sweet, took care of everything and my favorite moment was before I hopped out of bed in the morning when Royce marched the girls into our room with their mother's day cards in their hands saying in the sweetest little munchkin voices, "Happy Mother's Day, Momma". Melt my heart!!!

It will be good to hop into our weekday rhythm but it was a beautiful and fantastic weekend. My little family spent all of our time outside, playing, walking, running around, biking, sitting in the sun and the girls in the sprinkler, dancing and listening to music, eating great food (even watermelon)!

Royce and I tucked the girls in early tonight, before it even got totally dark out because they've been running ragged all weekend. After we put them to bed Adia started asking for hardboiled eggs. I had a dozen fresh eggs in the fridge so I said yes, what the heck I'll make you some and bring them in when they're ready. After the timer went off the girls were still awake excited to eat eggs (simple pleasures!) so I was cooling and peeling them as fast as I could. As I was standing in the kitchen, it was finally black dark outside and I paused for a second to breath in the summer smelling warm air blowing through the windows and I felt excited and happy. Excited that we're finally feeling at home here and happy that this is where we are.

"summer" colds

Well it turns out that my girls aren't plotting to drive me to the psych ward at the local hospital with their screaming, fighting and crying.....they are both battling "summer" colds....again. We thought it was allergies but the hacking coughs started today and things are looking and sounding much more cold like than allergies. Well, at least it explains the past several days of personality disorder!

Everyday Things

to define exceptional

I was looking at my dishpan hands today after scrubbing down the house this afternoon. My weekly sanity. I love working hard and getting tired and seeing the accomplishment of a spotless house packed full of clean dishes and clean laundry. As silly as it may sound it fulfills something in me I lost when I stopped working outside the home. Mothering is so fly by the seat of your pants! You have little control most of the time! You never know what's going to fly up and slap you upside the head! Homemaking is nitty gritty but organized and controlled! Plus you can make it what you want. I was putting clean sheets on the bed and decided my favorite of all holiday's is Mother's Day. What sweet and momentous day to celebrate everything that means Mother. I can say with certainty that being a Mother has transformed me in a way nothing in my life ever has or ever will. Never have I felt so blessed and thankful for being a woman. There's SO much connected with being a Mom. It's a celebration of carrying a baby (or babies!), nurturing physically and emotionally, going from a regular girl to a hero the second your baby takes her first breath. I will never tire of it and never take it for granted, EVER.

It's no secret my Mom and I are very close. She's always been my hero. She was a patient and wonderful Mother. She was nurturing to the extreme. She has always been so connected to me. She listened to me when I had the words to put to how I was feeling and when I didn't I could look at her with no words and see her eyes fill with understanding, compassion and undying love. I have hundreds upon hundreds of memories of her while I was growing up and she was this quiet powerful presence of esteem, praise and pride in me. I couldn't fail in her eyes. I couldn't disappoint. She followed my dreams and has always been behind me, giving me support and telling me how amazing I am. I am so undeserving of this kind of love yet appreciate so much how it has molded me into the woman that I am. Truth be told when I'm sick, or sad or upset nothing makes me feel good as quickly as Momma!

So to define exceptional is to define my Mom, who she was, who she is and what she will continue to be; the most important and influential woman in my life.

Happy Mother's Day to you Mom! I admire you and I'm so extremely proud of you, what you've done and who you are. I love you with all of my heart. I'm missing you this weekend and wish you were in town to celebrate with me!

Oh Adia

Adia's had a rough past few days. She seems crabby (unusual for her), bossy, quick to lash out and quick to snap. I'm not sure what's going on with her but she can't seem to catch a break either! She's been limping on her leg for a few days. Hard to say why being that she's crashes on her bike, gets crashed into by Rasa on HER bike, jumps, falls and spills a dozen times a day! She took a header off the couch earlier in the week, tripped at the playground last night and whapped her face on the bottom of a big plastic chair swing and when we got home she dumped one of our wood lawn chairs on the top of her foot!

Last night we all went for a walk and she wanted to be held the entire time. She said she wanted to be a baby. After dinner she wouldn't leave me alone for one second so I pulled her on my lap and said, "do you just need to be held by Momma?" and she looked up at me and said, "YES!"

I'm going to spend some time with her this weekend, just her and I. Rasa and I have been doing that a lot lately (because she needed it!). The funny thing with these two is we work so hard to focus on the one that's having a hard time that she blossoms but the other girl ends up getting neglected (for lack of a better word, trust me). Rasa is in a beautiful place right now. Her meltdowns are much less, she's happy, she can articulate how she feels, what she needs and wants and is getting it all. Now we just need to focus on Adia and hope to find balance with both of their needs at the same time.

Adia showing me her owie and mending her wounds with an ice cream treat. Ice creams still fixes owies as quickly as a princess bandaid.

snowwhite sighting!

Rasa rocked this frock all over richfield last night. She even wore it to the playground we go to that is packed with at least a hundred kids every single night. Not one of them looked at her like she was odd. Rasa's on cold round two in the bast two weeks, poor babe. She's doing well though and working through it.

super awesome weekend!

Three years ago!

Saturday! (minus Derek)
My bff on the north shore, Jess, came down this weekend and spent the night with one of her babes on Friday. Everyone had so much fun. Weston, her 3 year old, is the one we have affectionately called the triplet because she and I were pregnant at the same time and our babies were born 10 days apart. The above pic is us Saturday morning, un-showered.....we still look pretty good right? ;)

It was hilarious listening to the kids conversations. Adia was so excited to have Weston over she couldn't even stand still for one second! Rasa kept saying over and over how cute he was (uh oh Daddy!). The girls haven't seen him since last summer when we were up at their place. We went for trike rides, to the park, watched movies, played outside, had a bon fire, the kids ran laps for about an hour before bed throughout the house. It was loud, it was chaos, it was a riot. Now I'll I will hear about for the next couple of weeks is how we need to go to Weston's house. Purhaps we do.

This was taken very late on Friday night. The kids are wet and dirty but still having fun!

I wish Jess would pack up and move back down here! I love her like a sister and miss her terribly between visits!



I had jobs this weekend on Saturday and Sunday and met some neat people. Royce had a lot of Daddy duty this weekend and was good about getting the girls outside every chance he could between rain showers. I was lucky to get sessions in-between the rain too!

my little thinker.....

We spent the entire morning, day and night outside today in swimsuits, in the sprinkler, at the water table and in the sun and when the sun went away we walked and biked until it was too dark to see what we were doing. HELLO SPRING we've been waiting for your return!

At about 9 we came in, popped in a movie and all of us even after a good dinner felt hungry. Rasa was laying across me when Royce asked if I wanted to run out and grab some grub and Rasa didn't want me to leave so I whispered to her, "shhhh do you want to come with me?". Her face lit up and she literally ran into the kitchen whispered to Daddy to be quiet but that she was coming with me so Adia couldn't hear. Off we went. It struck me funny as I was strapping her into her car seat that it was such a treat for her to come along but hey if she's this easy to please than I'm all for it!

On the way home she asked if I would sit next to her when we eat our food and I said of course. Then she paused and said, "I think it would be a good idea to eat at the table. I don't want to spill any of my dip on the couch". Um ok, you're way ahead of me there and would you please just be THREE!! You're starting to scare me.